Chasing My Thirties Entry #9

Thursday July 10th 2025

Yeah... I fell behind on this. I could share all the stress I've been under to try and justify my disappearance but what good will that do?

I am about fourteen weeks post op now and I feel better than ever. My doctor was right by the way, I did feel MUCH better by the time I saw him for my eight week post op appointment. And when he cleared me from my hysterectomy, I CRIED. I was so incredibly happy to finally be able to put all that nonsense that I went through in the past, for good this time. Prior to September 2023 I was suffering, but not at all like how I was from September all the way up until my hysterectomy. I don't know how I survived with a smile on my face, but I did and I'm just glad that it's all over with now. I did weight myself at the eight week post op appointment and my weight did come down some more which was awesome - hoping it continues in that direction, but to be honest, I haven't weighed myself since because I don't want to become obsessed with the number on the scale, so instead, I've been focusing on how I feel. Now granted I need to get myself moving like I promised I would, but hey, one step at a time I guess.

Since my last entry, aside from surgery recovery, some things have happened in my life that I'll catch you up on. May and June were VERY busy months at work, probably peak buying season I would say, so I worked a lot of overtime. My wallet was happy but my brain wasn't, so I didn't have a whole lot of time to work on Book 3 - I was mostly focused with book fair prep in my free time more than anything. Which, was an absolutely incredible day by the way! I sold more copies and had more engagement than I expected - I'm so incredibly grateful for all of the support and love I've received since releasing my work into the world as a published author. I was terrified to do it - especially given the nature of my books - but I took a chance on myself and I went for it, and so far it's been worth it. I still have some learning and growing to do, but I feel like I'm heading in the right direction and each book I release opens the doors for new lessons and learning opportunities. I will admit, I've learned A LOT while writing the Chasing My Twenties Journal Series, so I'm excited to apply all I've learned and experienced to my next book.

I do want to talk about Lacie real quick. Lacie was our oldest dog, Tim got her as a puppy when he was about eighteen years old. When I came into the picture, Lacie was maybe four or five, so she was pretty set in her ways. Fast forward to the time when I moved in with Tim, I brought my childhood dog Rocky with me, and while it took a little time for them to warm up to each other, they totally became best friends. Four years later when Rocky passed away at eighteen, I was devastated, I lost my best friend. Lacie took some time to adjust, but soon fell back into her role of being the only dog in the house. And then about two years later, we adopted Milo when he was nine months old and they pretty much became inseparable. They instantly became the best of friends and it was nice seeing Lacie with a friend of her own again. Three years later, one day while Tim and I were sitting at lunch, he turned to me and asked me if I wanted to go to the shelter to look at dogs. We talked about getting another dog before, but it was more of just an idea, life was always getting in the way so we never did anything about it. But on that day, we ended up adopting a three month old puppy we later named Shelby. When we first brought Shelby home, Lacie was kind of like, "What the fuck is this"? She was curious, but not really in the mood to deal with a puppy all that much and as Shelby grew, Lacie's patience sure didn't. Anyway, they got along well and Lacie pretty much just loved Shelby from a distance while Shelby wanted nothing more than to snuggle up and lick her face everyday. The three of them were all so perfect. Well, after sixteen years, Lacie went to Heaven at the end of June. We knew it was coming so we were preparing for it, we just didn't expect it to happen so sudden and how it did. Our house feels empty and our hearts are broken, but we're hanging in there and doing our best so we can help Milo and Shelby with their grief. Unfortunately, Shelby has been having a more difficult time than Milo, granted Milo has been around Lacie for much longer, Lacie was like a mom to Shelby so she's been kind of lost without her. It's really hard losing a pet and though our hearts will never recover from the loss, it's comforting to know that they're up there in Heaven waiting for us. We miss her so much but are finding peace in knowing she is no longer suffering. She spent the last five years sitting underneath my desk or next to my office chair while I've been working from home and while I have Milo and Shelby, it just doesn't feel the same not feeling her fluffy fur underneath my feet anymore. She was my moo moo and I'll love her and miss her forever.

Now that I'm within the final thirty days of my twenties, and it may just be that it hasn't hit me yet, but I think I'm going to be okay. I've had enough trauma, heartbreak and pain to last me a lifetime, so I'm staying positive with the thought that all of it's behind me now and as I begin this next chapter of my life, it's only going to be smooth sailing from here on out. Yeah now of course I'm expecting turbulence, obviously, but I believe that it's going to be on a much lesser scale than what I've experienced in the past. God has a plan for me and I wouldn't be where I am today without my past so, I guess I should be thankful for it.

As I wrap up my twenties, I'm going to do my best to give myself some grace so by the time I turn thirty, I can start that next chapter of my life fresh and ready to go, with nothing but my past experiences to help steer me in the right direction. It's crazy to think how close I am to turning forty, fifty, and even sixty. All this time I've thought I was already living my best years, but honestly, I don't think I've even began to touch the surface of my best years yet. And now that my health is a little more stable, I feel like I can do anything again. I'm also becoming more comfortable with my body, and I'm truly enjoying that new freedom.

I'm on a tight deadline these next few weeks as I wrap up final edits for my third book in my journal series, Chasing My Twenties As Someone's Fiancée. I'm on round two of three. My goal is to finish round two by this Sunday, so I can spend the next week finalizing everything during my third review, so I can then get it in the hands of my beta readers so I can find out if my third book really is my best or if that's just me wishfully thinking. LOL. But in all seriousness, I do think my third one will be my best yet. It's also my longest book, so far I'm at 68,000 words and I still have about fifty or so pages left to edit. I've got a good feeling about this one.

I don't know where this new decade is going to take me or what's going to happen, but I'm really looking forward to finding out. I think, I feel, that within these next ten years, I will become a best selling, full time author. I've been saying it for a while now and some people probably think I'm crazy for putting it all over my social media accounts. I just can't shake this feeling that it's going to one day be my reality and I'm going to do everything I can to make it happen. I'll be honest, I don't have a fucking clue as to what I'm doing, but I'm figuring it out along the way and I think that counts for something.

Alright, well, I need to hop off here so I can get a start on dinner so I can rush through it to get on edits. I've worked 34.3 hours so far this week working my day job, and I've spent roughly three to three and a half hours after dinner these past three nights working on my book. I'm hoping to get another three hours worth in tonight, and then tomorrow night, it's balls to the walls since I don't have to work the next day. As far as the weekend goes, that's when I'm really going to make some progress; I'm aiming for eight to ten hours each day.

I gotta feed the dogs, it's almost eight o'clock. I'll see ya when I see ya.

-A