Chasing My Thirties Entry #8

Friday April 25th 2025

I'm four and a half weeks post op and I had my first post op check in this week. I told my doctor about all the things I've been feeling and while it's all normal, he expects me to be feeling much better by the time I see him again right before Memorial Day.

I'll be honest, these past two weeks have been frustrating. Ovulating for the first time post surgery was slightly painful, but nothing like how it was before surgery and I really think it was more post op pain that I was feeling more than anything. Luckily the horrible back pain and muscle spasms went away later on in the week, but nothing could have prepared me for the hell I experienced in my third week.

I'll keep it short and sweet, but basically I was a fucking mess. My brain was so slow and foggy... I was struggling to get through my work day; it was like I was delayed and had no idea what I was doing and if someone tried talking to me on the phone, I could barely form proper sentences. I was miserable and an emotional wreck about it. More so because it was also affecting my writing so I've fallen even more behind with Book 3 edits... But like just in a general sense I felt slow and unlike myself and it really made me sad. I think I cried the most during week three to be honest.

Ah so I saw my doctor and he reviewed my pathology report with me. While I was able to review it ahead of time, it felt much more real once he talked me through it. Turns out I had endometriosis on my right ovary, uterus, and I had an inflamed cervix which developed a cyst, that was also related to the endometriosis. Prior to surgery, I was thinking both ovaries would be bad but luckily my left was perfectly fine with no signs of endometriosis and it was only my right that was in such bad shape.

I also talked about how I felt much calmer the day after surgery and he agreed that it's due to my body no longer fighting to survive the pain I was in. He said that the source of the inflammation is gone so my body can truly heal and recover now. As a matter of fact, I weighed myself for the first time this week since surgery and I've lost three pounds! I haven't seen weight loss in over a year, so I'm looking forward to recognizing the woman staring back at me in the mirror again; it's been way too long since I have.

Aside from a little anger here and there, week four was relatively decent. I think it's the first week I've felt more like myself in a very long time. In a way I kind of feel like I'm learning who I am again... I mean when you've spent so much time in pain suffering from things you couldn't understand, it really takes a toll on you and unfortunately for me it definitely did both physically and mentally. I have three and a half more weeks to go until I'm fully healed, but I think I'm finally through the worst of it. And once I'm cleared from my hysterectomy, I'll finally be able to put all of this in the past where it belongs. My thirties are literally going to be life changing and I'm so fucking ready for it.

In some other news - I went to a concert with my brother to see one of my favorite bands (Chiodos) that I've loved since 2011/2012 and I got to meet them! I got the whole band to sign my tour poster but I had the lead singer sign my picture because he's my favorite haha. Oh and we got to see Hawthorne Heights perform too and listening to Ohio is for Lovers live, was a childhood fantasy I didn't know I needed to come true.

-A