Beyond My Control

Released February 20th 2015

 

Love is a powerful thing;

Sometimes it just shows itself in a way that is hard to understand at a first glance.

….

Mom, Dad-

Please keep in mind that I mean no harm,

And that I’m doing this in the only way I feel is best.

I can no longer live under your roof-

For I do not agree with the things that you believe in anymore.

I fell in love with someone new

And it’s the most incredible feeling I have ever had;

Now I truly understand how you two feel about each other.

I know I’m taking a heavy risk right now,

But like you guys risked your love after just a few months,

I am doing so also.

I hope and pray that one day you both will understand what it is that I am chasing.

I promise you both that I will be safe

And that I won’t stray too far from you.

This was not an easy decision for me,

But now I know what it means to sacrifice things for the one you love.

I hope the love that I am chasing will become just as powerful and fulfilling as yours is.

I’ll always love you guys

And you’ll always be Mom and Dad to me;

Despite what I am to you.

I wrote this the other night and it reminded me of a poem Dad wrote for you Mom, when you guys were younger.

~

 It’s 3:30 am and my heart won’t let me sleep:

My mind won’t stop replaying your voice in my head,

So I’m playing our song since only your voice sings it.

My bed still smells of your body’s natural scent

So you’d think that would help me sleep-

But it doesn’t.

 And I wish it would.

I want to spend as many moments with you as possible.

I want to experience this messed up world with you by my side.

I want you with me:

During the day,

During the night,

For lunch time and dinner time

And all the time left in between.

I want to sleep next to you each night,

And hear you snore because it reminds me that you’re there.

I want to know all about how you listened to my stories as I was talking in my sleep.

You care for me and my well being-

As you hold my hand as we cross the street.

Ever since the night I met you

You’ve caught my interest more than any person ever has;

And that my love,

Is something un-describable.

You manage to make my heart cry

Just begging to be loved by you.

I don’t know how much more of this I can take;

These are feelings, my heart cannot erase.

Hold me when it’s cold,

Kiss my lips when I’m talking crazy.

Guide me when I’m lost.

And love me like tomorrow isn’t promised.

Don’t kiss me in the rain-

Jump in the puddles with me.

Don’t rescue me-

Protect me.

I’ll fight for you.

I’ll encourage you.

I’ll support you and look out for you…

And I’ll always,

Always,

Love you.

I’ll always be your best friend, as you’ll always be mine.

And I’ll never give up-

As I know you won’t either.

~

Dear Mom and Dad:

Maybe now you can better understand these feelings I have-

Despite the fact that they are for another man.

Love always,

Your son